Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Meet the Vampire Strippers

Before I introduce you to the world-eating vampire strippers, I want to take a moment to apologize. You see, the book’s title is a bit misleading. Let’s say you walk into a book store, want a fun, quick escapist-style book to check out, and you see this crazy-ass title on the shelf. I know when I make a bowl of popcorn and watch Die Hard, I’m looking forward to watching a fun movie with explosions. I loved the Mad Max movie that came out this summer, and I enjoy the occasional super hero (or is it superhero) film. Vampire Strippers from Saturn is a bit on the “literary” end, however, so anyone who cracked open the cover and saw THIS should have been warned:


I figured the Kindle previewer would show this page on Amazon, but I also realize that not all retail outlets that have the book will let you crack the book open to see that big warning. “TURN BACK! THERE’S A VERY STRONG CHANCE THIS WAS NOT THE DROID YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.” 

Why the hell did a book with such a cool title have to be literary? Isn’t that just clever marketing? I don’t think so. I didn’t intentionally write a book that would provoke ire and “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” type responses.

Our vampire strippers are a fragment of the multiverse. Think of the multiverse as having an alternate reality for every possibility that might occur in any given moment in time. So there is an infinite number of universes and realities and whatnot. The vampire strippers have one task: eat planets. Destroy them. They can choose to destroy planets by influencing a growing sense of apathy in the planet’s population--which is a very slow death--or they can convince world leaders to initiate a cataclysmic war that would just blow everyone up.

This is where it gets tricky.

The vampire strippers have enemies. They are called plots—and they are what we might think of as demons. They can shapeshift at will, and they wish not to destroy planets, but prevent those planets from destruction by creating a constant state of chaos (Hell, basically). 

When our vampires appear around the fringes of Saturn, they decide on the apathetic route, and Earth, in this particular universe, is the last planet with sentient life. Our vampiresses decide which form they will take, and who will get to fall in love with a human to begin toppling the dominoes. 

The leader of the trio assigns roles for them, since the planned method of destruction is considered “self-indulgent.” 

Let’s introduce them:
(Be careful not to judge a book by its cover…)


Rene (modeled by Ava Gardner)––Will “spread the vampire infection”

The leader of our trio, Rene has decided to use apathy to ruin Earth. To destroy the world, she will begin by creating a cult of followers that worship her. The plan is ultimately a stupid one, because she will use love and sexuality as a means to expose the apathetic tendencies of the human race, and she does not foresee the struggle that awaits her. 





Nicole (modeled by Lady Gaga)—Will “fall in love”

Thousands of years after the vampire strippers come to Earth, the “slow process” of humanity’s annihilation continues; Rene’s strategy will ensure a slow end. In the far future, women make up the majority of the population, but they are hunted and treated like pets by the men who rule the world (who are also in the minority, along with some robot animals). In the future, Nicole resents Rene because her experience and role in the world’s destruction was ruined by Rene. Nicole sends a half-horse, half-human named Emilio into the distant past to hurt Rene emotionally. Nicole believes that if she can destroy Rene in the past, then she can alter what happens when she herself falls in love. Despite all of Nicole’s eternal wisdom, she doesn’t know shit about time travel. 

Madison (modeled by Christy Mack)—Will be “worshipped.” 
Madison wants nothing to do with any of Rene’s plans. She wants the very thing that Nicole has been assigned, and since Earth is the last stop in this universe, she understands that a world predicated on chaos will also be a world that involves emotion and passion. Madison makes a deal with the plots to help make the struggle for Earth a quick one. 








I hope that you can see the layers upon layers of ideas that spawned this book. To date, this is my most honest work. I promise that it was not meant to make people “work” to read, nor was it meant to be utterly pretentious. The book spins upon the axis of emotion… 

You can buy this book all over the place. If you buy it directly from the publisher, corporate American megabucks instead go to an independent publisher of awesome shit. They're called Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing, and a lot of their books are really good. I bought some of them. 
.
Here's their website:


Friday, March 20, 2015

VAMPIRE STRIPPER SOUNDTRACK


Strip clubs and music go together like cookies and the Cookie Monster; they cannot exist independently. Well, they could, but they would suck without each other (that might be a pun, and if it is, I didn't mean it). 

Whenever I think of strippers, there is an image in my mind of women dancing in ancient temples with torchlight flickering beneath a halo of stars and night. Kind of. 


My novel, Vampire Strippers from Saturn, is a manifestation of specific songs that I  listened to while creating the novel. These songs are very responsible for the book, more than I am, really. I blame them all. The strip club in my novel seems to have sort of an 80s music theme, with a sprinkle of other songs. Now, before you look at the list, please know that I listen to a lot of rap music while writing my Zombie Ascension books... rap and hip-hop were INTENTIONALLY left out of this book for a thematic purpose. 


I really, really think the reading experience is enhanced by these songs, even if you don't like them. I like to think this would be the soundtrack to a movie version of the narrative. 

If you're a Green Day fan, there is one particular stripper in the novel who is a huge fan, but the other strippers are not. 

Soundtrack (in order of appearance)


“Minerva” by the Deftones
“Bloodstone” by Judas Priest
“Big Spender” by Peggy Lee
Green Day (no specific songs listed sadly)
“The End” by Rush
“In My Time of Dying” by Led Zeppelin
“Harvester of Eyes” by Blue Oyster Cult
“Tales of Brave Ulysses” by Cream
“Closer” by Nine in Nails
“One of These Nights” by The Eagles
“Obsession” by Animotion
“Hold Me” by Fleetwood Mac
“Nasty Girl” by Vanity 6
“I Want Your Sex” by George Michael
“Saints in Hell” by Judas Priest
“No More No More” by Aerosmith
“Hey Jude” by The Beatles
“Karma Chameleon” by Boy George
“You Say Yes” by Judas Priest
“Spreading the Disease" by Queensryche
“Touch Too Much” by AC/DC
“Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin
“Rag Doll” by Aerosmith
“Slow Ride” by Foghat
“Turning Circles” by Judas Priest




CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER THE BOOK  (it will download to your Kindle automatically on March 30th). 





Tuesday, March 3, 2015

VAMPIRE STRIPPER INTERVIEWS

Been staying plenty busy promoting vampire strippers, and at the same time, I have a new book coming out, which happens to include strippers who are also vampires. In the spirit of keeping everything in one place, I will post all the new stuff here.




Here is a link that features an interview over at Dead End Follies. Although it might seem a bit on the snarky side, I took everything seriously, and almost all of it is true. 


Over at Ginger Nuts of Horror, I wrote a featured article about the infamous question people like to ask artists: "WHAT INSPIRES YOU?" I explain why the question isn't so horrible.


Here's a review of Vampire Strippers from Saturn that is both poetic and highly quotable. I think the gentleman who wrote the article did a great job articulating what readers should expect, and the type of audience that would enjoy the book.


FINALLY... you can preorder the Kindle version at the following link, and it will download to your Kindle device as soon as the book comes out. There will be a paperback version, too. 


Thanks for stopping by. I will likely run some kind of contest involving vampire strippers, though it's challenging to work with them because a lot of them are thinking about migrating to Mars. 

Monday, December 17, 2012

Vampire Manga: Author Spotlight on Amelia Mah

Teenage Vampire Manga

VAMPIRE MANGA!!!!


FANGS RULE

A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.



Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO!!!

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE AT AMAZON!!!


About the Author


The Author Amelia Mah is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire Following the success of her first book "FANGS RULE A girls guide to being a vampire" she had now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy. Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. 

Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).


LINKS: 

Email: amymahvampire@aol.com

Website: www.fangsrule.com

Goodreads links

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9676513-fangs-rule

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15751638-amy-mah-vampire