Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Dream Cast for Zombie Ascension 3: SAINT PAIN

I absolutely love doing fantasy lineups for movies. A part of me loves the idea that readers should be able to envision characters on their own; the fanboy in me used to speculate about who would play Aragorn in a Lord of the Rings movie, until at last, those movies came out.

FIRST, let me show you the cover. It's awesome.

The book is an exploration of post-traumatic stress disorder in an apocalyptic setting. Make no mistake: my zombie books are horror novels. These books are not recommended for folks under 17 years of age. 

Here are the dream cast lists for the first two books:

I'm not giving anything away by telling the audience that Vega and Traverse have survived the first two books, considering that their names are in this book's description. I think Michelle Rodriguez should get top billing, and this is the perfect series for her; she's Vega, and Daniel Craig is Traverse. Rodriguez has kicked a lot of ass in a lot of movies, including zombies in the Resident Evil flicks. I think she can be the lead and do some serious damage. 


A racist, hateful woman who has made it her business to survive by any means necessary. Angelica finds people in the ruins and “trades” them to one of three different locations for supplies. She prefers to work alone, but solitude has begun to take its toll on her sanity. I like Sasha Grey in the role because I think she can do something a bit “different” with her acting career and would be believable behind the scope of a sniper rifle. Besides… Noomi Rapace isn’t available (I cast her in another movie). 

Bill Bailey

Who wouldn’t pay to see Clay Matthews fight zombies? Well, Bill Bailey is a young football player who has every bit of the “hero complex” about him, because all he wants to do is help people. On the surface, Bill seems like a walking stereotype, but there’s a reason why he is always willing to put everything on the line to do the right thing. Clay Matthews and Billy Bailey play different positions in football, but… it’s Clay Matthews. Fighting zombies. That’s awesome.


After surviving a year in Windsor with her son, Brian, she finally ventures across the border to find the man she loves, a lawyer named Desmond. Bella is a hardened survivor and understands how and why survival groups fall apart. Brian abandoned her, but she still talks to him…

I think Halley Berry just needs to make a movie, and I think it has been a while since she took on a dynamic role. Bella isn't a gun-toting zombie killer like many of the characters in this series, so her character will stand out from the crowd. 


Russell Crowe is one of my least favorite actors, but I think this is a good role for him. Crowe can be loud and crazy, and I can see him wielding a flamethrower (SPOILER: this book contains a flamethrower). Sutter is a Black Ops specialist who specializes in starting insurrections; he has a knack for inspiring loyalty. He’s got the biggest “salvage” operation in Detroit, and he is closely associated with the infamous Egypt mission from which the zombie apocalypse was born.

Mystery Character

This is the end of a trilogy, and I have not cast Tom Savini in a single movie. There are several major roles up for grabs, but at the end of the day, Tom gets to pick, because he’s a legend in the zombie genre. A American zombie movie without Tom Savini, or an acknowledgement of Tom Savini’s existence, can never be good enough. 

OH CRAP! I forgot to post a link for the book. Right now, it's available as an ebook on Amazon. As I write this, the paperback is about a week or two away.


Friday, March 20, 2015


Strip clubs and music go together like cookies and the Cookie Monster; they cannot exist independently. Well, they could, but they would suck without each other (that might be a pun, and if it is, I didn't mean it). 

Whenever I think of strippers, there is an image in my mind of women dancing in ancient temples with torchlight flickering beneath a halo of stars and night. Kind of. 

My novel, Vampire Strippers from Saturn, is a manifestation of specific songs that I  listened to while creating the novel. These songs are very responsible for the book, more than I am, really. I blame them all. The strip club in my novel seems to have sort of an 80s music theme, with a sprinkle of other songs. Now, before you look at the list, please know that I listen to a lot of rap music while writing my Zombie Ascension books... rap and hip-hop were INTENTIONALLY left out of this book for a thematic purpose. 

I really, really think the reading experience is enhanced by these songs, even if you don't like them. I like to think this would be the soundtrack to a movie version of the narrative. 

If you're a Green Day fan, there is one particular stripper in the novel who is a huge fan, but the other strippers are not. 

Soundtrack (in order of appearance)

“Minerva” by the Deftones
“Bloodstone” by Judas Priest
“Big Spender” by Peggy Lee
Green Day (no specific songs listed sadly)
“The End” by Rush
“In My Time of Dying” by Led Zeppelin
“Harvester of Eyes” by Blue Oyster Cult
“Tales of Brave Ulysses” by Cream
“Closer” by Nine in Nails
“One of These Nights” by The Eagles
“Obsession” by Animotion
“Hold Me” by Fleetwood Mac
“Nasty Girl” by Vanity 6
“I Want Your Sex” by George Michael
“Saints in Hell” by Judas Priest
“No More No More” by Aerosmith
“Hey Jude” by The Beatles
“Karma Chameleon” by Boy George
“You Say Yes” by Judas Priest
“Spreading the Disease" by Queensryche
“Touch Too Much” by AC/DC
“Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin
“Rag Doll” by Aerosmith
“Slow Ride” by Foghat
“Turning Circles” by Judas Priest

CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER THE BOOK  (it will download to your Kindle automatically on March 30th). 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


Been staying plenty busy promoting vampire strippers, and at the same time, I have a new book coming out, which happens to include strippers who are also vampires. In the spirit of keeping everything in one place, I will post all the new stuff here.

Here is a link that features an interview over at Dead End Follies. Although it might seem a bit on the snarky side, I took everything seriously, and almost all of it is true. 

Over at Ginger Nuts of Horror, I wrote a featured article about the infamous question people like to ask artists: "WHAT INSPIRES YOU?" I explain why the question isn't so horrible.

Here's a review of Vampire Strippers from Saturn that is both poetic and highly quotable. I think the gentleman who wrote the article did a great job articulating what readers should expect, and the type of audience that would enjoy the book.

FINALLY... you can preorder the Kindle version at the following link, and it will download to your Kindle device as soon as the book comes out. There will be a paperback version, too. 

Thanks for stopping by. I will likely run some kind of contest involving vampire strippers, though it's challenging to work with them because a lot of them are thinking about migrating to Mars. 

Monday, February 16, 2015

New Covers (Some Kind of Update)

A lot of time has passed since I posted something to the ol’ blog. Meanwhile, the world has been turning. Weird.

On the outside looking in, it seems like I haven’t been all that productive. A lot of great things are happening over at Bizarro Pulp Press, which I am proud to be part of. If you like your fiction a bit “different” than “normal” stuff, go on over and see what we’ve got going on.

I've been hard at work on Saint Pain, the conclusion to the Zombie Ascension trilogy. I can empathize with George R. R. Martin a little (just a little); writing a series is difficult, on so many levels, especially if you’re extremely committed to the characters and allow them a chance to dictate where the story goes. Saint Pain is nearly 400 pages in length at this point in draft form, not counting what has to be added, rewritten, deleted, etc. To say it has been a labor of love would be selling it short.

Meanwhile, the covers for the first two books were updated by Severed Press. Check them out!

On March 30th, Vampire Strippers from Saturn will be published from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. The title should be sort of a dead-giveaway; Saturn is a gas planet. Vampires couldn’t “come from” Saturn, could they? The book is a romantic horror-satire with a bit of time travel thrown in (okay, a lot of time travel). The cover art is by George C. Cotronis 

A new poetry narrative will be coming out this year, tentatively called Visions of a Tremulous Man. I have a couple other projects that I’m shopping around, but these days, Bizarro Pulp Press, moving into a new house, and getting ready for our third child has pretty much consumed my life (and that of my family).

I’m promising myself that I will update this thing again sooner rather than later. I should have the dream cast up for Vampire Strippers from Saturn very soon. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014


If you've visited my blog in the past, you know I love these fantasy film casts. I remember reading WIZARD magazine as a kid, and the comic book movie dream casts were always a favorite segment of mine. Heck... I think they mentioned Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier years ago, but that's a no-brainer, isn't it? 

Some of the actors I picked aren't particularly well-known. I think readers should be able to use their imagination to see these character in the narrative, but if I had it MY WAY, well... here's the cast for DARK RISING, my new novel from Severed Press (details about the book below the cast). 

Anna Vivaldi

An Italian-Irish woman who is nothing more than leg and attitude, Noomi Rapace is perfect for this role. Why? Because Noomi Rapace is awesome. That’s why. She does a good job portraying tough female characters without being over-sexualized, and Anna Vivaldi is nothing but over-sexualized. I think this would be a good role for Rapace. Please. Please say yes…

Mari Riso

This actress is Rosa Kato. I looked her up, and this pose seems to capture everything that I would want to see in Mari Riso on the silver screen. Tough, haunted, and unwilling to compromise her family’s sacred mission. 

Captain Brand Whitmore

A veteran ship captain, haunted by the woman that he lost when his ship sank several years ago. A drunken wreck of a man who still clings to the fleeting moments he had with Patricia Vivaldi, he is cursed by the ancient octopus demigod. Kurt Russell would be unhinged enough, and could easily make the transition to a damaged man. He’s the perfect balance to the remote and stilted Clive Nightingale. 

Clive Nightingale

Who better to play a creepy sorcerer with a penchant for guitar playing and serial-killing than Clive Owen? Owen’s voice is arguably one of the creepiest in Hollywood, and he could portray the mysterious, morose man who is playing a game with cosmic dice. 


Another actor I chose for his look, although I am familiar with his work in Hari Kiri. This actor’s name is Eita, and he’s a handsome lad. The character, Chan, is a young, ambitious government agent who steadfastly believes in his mission. Chan isn’t afraid of a giant octopus, and he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.


I don’t want to spoil which character Gilian Anderson would play, but after you read the first chapter, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise, anyway. In a film version, I assume she would appear in flashback/memory sequences, because I’d certainly want to maximize my use of Gilian Anderson. 


An ancient creature sleeps in the Pacific Ocean, awakened only by the music of sorcery.

Anna Vivaldi has never forgotten the disappearance of her mother, but at least she has the money and courage to find closure. But she’ll need the only survivors from her mother’s expedition: Whitmore, the drunken captain who lost something precious on the first voyage, and Nightingale, the man who had whisked Anna’s mother away on a search for something ancient and terrible. 

On the vast ocean. In the haunted past. Wanted by millionaire treasure hunters and scientists. A thing that should not be real. An island of mysteries. An abyss of death. PREPARE FOR A DARK RISING.