Depression and Creativity Collide

Grant Wamack, rapper, writer, and existential warrior of the cosmos, has just dropped his new novella, A Lightbulb's Lament. Since the bizarro genre is a literary phenomenon that uses metaphorical devices to explore our emotions and our society, Grant discusses the role of depression in the creation of a hero so many of us want to be; a hero who is the figurative warrior against personal darkness--Mr. Watts. 

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Blog Postage (Lit Edition)
by Grant Wamack

Let's flashback to my freshmen year in college. I just moved out of the dorms and eased into a studio apartment in the heart of Northern Illinois University's campus. I was getting pretty good grades,  some of my short stories were beginning to be published, I had good friends who made sure I was making moves on the regular, I was finally able to get away from my dad's overbearing presence, but still... there was something nagging at me. Doubts about the future, terrible luck with women (even though I was surrounded by the “hook-up” culture), and most importantly I was still uncomfortable with myself. 

Cue existential crisis and questions. Why the fuck am I an English major?  I don't want to be a teacher. Why am I trying to please my Dad by majoring in English? I'm so much more than that. More than this. These thoughts would go on and on and I would sink into deeper levels of depression, dragging anyone in my immediate circle down with me. Everyone was partying on the weekends and I'd be in my room battling the black dog raging inside my head. 

Late nights spent alone watching Salad Fingers, consuming tons of weird fiction as a form of escapism, recording my first rap mixtape Heavenly Fridges, and lots of cathartic writing. It wasn't enough though. I had to do something to expel this energy. 

I carried a small notebook in my back pocket for ideas (I still do), and one day while working at Home Depot, I was struck with the image of a gentleman with a lightbulb for head and a world full of darkness. It was so compelling that I fleshed out a loose outline over the course of the next week. Earlier that year, I finished my first bizarro novella, Notes from the Guts of a Hippo, which was a major feat for me since I could barely write a 5,000 word short story. However, I had an idea and it had to be written. Not just to prove to myself that I could do it again, but to fix this depression holding me back.

It might be important to note that I've always been interested in magic, rather it be on stage, hoodoo, mysticism, astrology, or numerology. I thought of this as a ritual of sorts. I thought if Mr. Watts, the main character, could bring light to this fictional world that it could possibly bring that figurative light to my world as well. There's this idea if you work on your inner world, it will directly ripple out into the physical plane. 

Did it work? 

In a lot of ways yes; I'm in much better shape mentally thanks to affirmations, better eating habits, good friends, and self love. Mr. Watts represents a turning point in my life; his journey is my journey. All of us have moments of self-doubt and identity confusion, but I know there is a light in the darkness...

You can also check out his lyrical experimentation/exhibition...

Grant Wamack writes weird fiction, raps, and weaves dreams at night. During the day, the Navy employs him as a Mass Communication Specialist, in other words, a "super" journalist

Blog: http://grantwamack.wordpress.com/

Music: http://gsmusik.bandcamp.com/

Art: http://artspazm.tumblr.com/

WHAT IS BIZARRO FICTION?

By Grant Wamack

What is bizarro fiction? Well that's a damn good question. Let's go back in time to answer this question. Follow me, young world.

When I was 17, I was just coming off my Lovecraft phase and looking for something different; something weird. I stumbled across bizarro when I found out about Eraserhead. I researched bizarro head honchos such as Carlton Mellick, Kevin L. Donihe, Jeremy Robert Johnson, etc. At first the whole idea scared me. I pictured surreal stories that would just fly over my head. Regrettably, I moved on. 

However, a year later a lot of bizarro writers were creeping into a lot of horror magazines and anthologies I read. So I gave them a chance and I fell in love. These stories were absurd, similar to Kafka, but to a higher degree. They were funny and weird but at the same time relate-able. I want to stress that word again: relate-able. Throughout all the weirdness and quirkiness, there was always a human element you could clutch on to that made me feel for the characters no matter the situation. 

Bizarro is an umbrella term for the weird, the absurd and/or the quirky usually with a dash of humor mixed. Think cult movies-those weird films that you love but you have no idea why. All you know is that they're ridiculous fun. 

In terms of writing, bizarro gives me the freedom to do what I want. I'm not saying breaking literary rules or just being weird for the sake of being weird, but I don't have to worry about staying within a genre. Many times I can just let my imagination run wild, crossing multiple genres and forcing the reader to react in a variety of ways. 

*Shameless plug alert* 

If you would like to find out more about bizarro visit Bizarrocentral.com or you could just dive in and buy Grant's bizarro novella Notes from the Guts of a Hippo here


Grant Wamack writes weird fictions, raps and weaves dreams at night. During the day, the Navy employs him as a Mass Communication Specialist, in other words, a "super" journalist. Visit his website here http://grantwamack.wordpress.com/